Meeting with the Dr.

So I had my meeting with the Dr. since my D&C...it proved promising but also very disheartening. Basically he said the same thing that was said the day of my procedure...that we still have a 70% chance of conceiving and carrying on our own without intervention, even with three miscarriages. So that is promising I guess...however I still feel like I am going into this next time blind. He said we could do a biopsy/hysteroscopy again to check for scarring but since that was done in May he really doesn't see why we should put me through that...thank God, I told him I would not want another one anyway...that had to be one of the worst experiences in my life and I can tolerate pain.

Anyway, he said other than that George and I have been tested for everything under the sun that can pertain to miscarriage and it all came back normal so he really feels that it was a chromosomal abnormality...the leading cause of miscarriage, however they were not able to obtain the proper tissue during my D&C to check, again shooting blind. So we are going into this one again on a hope and a prayer hoping it sticks. He did tell me that women miscarry in clusters...in that they will miscarry at the same point in their pregnancy every time, therefore mine is the 6-7 week point...if we can get me past there my chances of success are very high. I have done plenty of research on miscarriage and unfortunately it is still an unknown and other than structural or hormonal problems there really is no explanation...it sucks.

God forbid we loose another...Dr. Hill said the next step is IVF but get this (this is the part that pisses me off and had me in tears in the car) it is not covered by insurance...because miscarriage is not infertility according to the Insurance Companies, I can get pregnant and therefore IVF is not a necessity. So if we do go this route we are looking at $12,000-$15,000 out of our pocket. He said some couples wait until 5 miscarriages before going this route because it is so expensive. I asked how IVF could help us...and basically they take my eggs and test the chromosomes they test 9 all together (there are 23 that have to be in line)and it is these 9 chromosomes that are responsible for about 85% of the pregnancy taking. However, he did add that there is only a 60%-70% chance that this would work...so my chances right now are better on my own, that is such a comforting thought. Finally, if they did this procedure and we find that they can't get my chromosomes to match up...my only option would be an egg donor...which I said I would not do...I will adopt instead.

I am very upset today...just that we are at this point and the thought of possibly going through this again is so scary and that the next steps after this suck so bad and will put us in the poor house. The Dr. said we could start trying right away but like my Acupuncturist suggested we are going to wait a couple of months.

On another note acupuncture is going very well, I am starting sleep again anyway...hopefully it is working in other ways that aren't apparent to me.

Finally, George and I are heading to Quebec the day after Thanksgiving...one for a birthday break for me (we are staying at a beautiful hotel) and two to visit St. Anne's cathedral...it has been know that many miracles happen there...and I feel like I was called there recently at my brother's memorial mass...so we are going.

At this point who knows...I just have to keep my heart open to everything.