Meeting with the Dr.

So I had my meeting with the Dr. since my D&C...it proved promising but also very disheartening. Basically he said the same thing that was said the day of my procedure...that we still have a 70% chance of conceiving and carrying on our own without intervention, even with three miscarriages. So that is promising I guess...however I still feel like I am going into this next time blind. He said we could do a biopsy/hysteroscopy again to check for scarring but since that was done in May he really doesn't see why we should put me through that...thank God, I told him I would not want another one anyway...that had to be one of the worst experiences in my life and I can tolerate pain.

Anyway, he said other than that George and I have been tested for everything under the sun that can pertain to miscarriage and it all came back normal so he really feels that it was a chromosomal abnormality...the leading cause of miscarriage, however they were not able to obtain the proper tissue during my D&C to check, again shooting blind. So we are going into this one again on a hope and a prayer hoping it sticks. He did tell me that women miscarry in clusters...in that they will miscarry at the same point in their pregnancy every time, therefore mine is the 6-7 week point...if we can get me past there my chances of success are very high. I have done plenty of research on miscarriage and unfortunately it is still an unknown and other than structural or hormonal problems there really is no explanation...it sucks.

God forbid we loose another...Dr. Hill said the next step is IVF but get this (this is the part that pisses me off and had me in tears in the car) it is not covered by insurance...because miscarriage is not infertility according to the Insurance Companies, I can get pregnant and therefore IVF is not a necessity. So if we do go this route we are looking at $12,000-$15,000 out of our pocket. He said some couples wait until 5 miscarriages before going this route because it is so expensive. I asked how IVF could help us...and basically they take my eggs and test the chromosomes they test 9 all together (there are 23 that have to be in line)and it is these 9 chromosomes that are responsible for about 85% of the pregnancy taking. However, he did add that there is only a 60%-70% chance that this would work...so my chances right now are better on my own, that is such a comforting thought. Finally, if they did this procedure and we find that they can't get my chromosomes to match up...my only option would be an egg donor...which I said I would not do...I will adopt instead.

I am very upset today...just that we are at this point and the thought of possibly going through this again is so scary and that the next steps after this suck so bad and will put us in the poor house. The Dr. said we could start trying right away but like my Acupuncturist suggested we are going to wait a couple of months.

On another note acupuncture is going very well, I am starting sleep again anyway...hopefully it is working in other ways that aren't apparent to me.

Finally, George and I are heading to Quebec the day after Thanksgiving...one for a birthday break for me (we are staying at a beautiful hotel) and two to visit St. Anne's cathedral...it has been know that many miracles happen there...and I feel like I was called there recently at my brother's memorial mass...so we are going.

At this point who knows...I just have to keep my heart open to everything.

Acupuncture, first time

Well Wednesday night my friend Christina treated me to a wonderful massage...it was just what the Dr. ordered. Let me tell you my family and friends have been wonderful...knowing that George and I have that kind of support makes getting through this time so much easier and really helps us continue on this journey.

So Wednesday had me nice and relaxed and that was continued after my first Acupuncture treatment. I went to Reading family Acupuncture...my Dr. refers many patients there, so I felt very comfortable. After many questions Jose (my acupuncturist who specializes in in-fertility) really feels that my circulation is very poor. It is so funny I can see this...I am cold ALL of the time, I have tingling in my hands and feet and am dizzy constantly but I never put it together. He explained if my blood is not circulating properly then the fetus is not getting the proper nutrients/nutrition to implant and grow...it makes sense. I remember this last early pregnancy I had severe numbing/tingling in my legs, feet and hands...could that be a correlation to my miscarriage...maybe, it is worth exploring.

Therefore, Jose wants to work specifically on components that will help with circulation...such as curbing anxiety, sleeping better, etc...these pieces can be helped immediately (I am so excited about that).

Also, he wants me to give him three months of acupuncture and herbs before we try again. He explained that eggs are present in the body for 6 months and optimally we should take three months to prepare and make them strong for pregnancy. Also, it will make the uterus well prepared for nutrients to carry the pregnancy.

We will see if I take the full three months before trying...I know I have to wait two anyway...we always have to wait one full cycle after a miscarriage anyway and then I know Dr. Hill will want a month to do more testing before we try again. Therefore, it would only be one additional month added to our original time table...I think I can handle that...we will see, I might get the bug much sooner than that. However, if this could prevent me going through what I have the previous three times and then going down the IVF route, then I think one more month is worth it!! It is weird, my sister who went to a psychic believes this woman was talking about me not her...and if this woman was correct then I would have a baby in August...which would bring me to three months from now, November! Who knows...

I was a little nervous before getting all of the needles put in but it is nothing at all, you barely feel it and I was so relaxed. I felt so good after this session and slept unbelievable that night. Also, my vein my left arm was swollen and so sore to the touch from the IV used during my D&C before this session and I left with the swelling gone and about 95% pain free, pretty amazing, huh!

Anyway, it was a good start and helped me feel like I was controlling something myself, that I was taking a step to make me healthy. Whether or not this will be the answer, who knows!